Bully: Scholarship Edition (Xbox 360)

(pic courtesy of ign.com)

I will admit it: I'm a huge fan of Rockstar Games. So, when I defeated Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto IV, I decided to buy Bully: Scholarship Edition to check it out. Well, I had to buy it from Amazon, because it was too old and unpopular to appear at any of the local GameStops or the three retro gaming stores in town (more about that later). I paid $15 for it (that's including shipping), which isn't too bad when you consider that I got it new.

One could scoff at this game and say that "it's just grand theft auto in a private school area", but i think it's deeper than that. You play as Jimmy Hopkins, your basic short, stocky kid who can't make it anywhere he goes - and the game is very deep, but there's a lot of fluff. I've been trying to fly through this game and there are some cool side games like actually going to class (they're all mini-games like "press the button when commanded to" and unscramble the word, or to solve very quick math problems. Nothing you'll need a PhD for, but it's not tough. Doesn't seem to have anything to add to the main storyline, for the most part.

The storyline seems to be fairly second place - like "who cares?!" about it. Most of them are routine missions or races - nothing that's too out of the ordinary. The only big problem I have with this game is the graphics - they're not good for Xbox 360 standards. The whole time I felt I was playing a PS2 game on my 360, "go there, take this, bring it back", etc. On the whole, Bully was okay - but there's a reason it's scarce and no one talks about it. It really added nothing to the major time line of gaming.

Final Score: 33 Fart Bombs out of 52.

Qix (Game Boy)

(Pic courtesy of GBDB.com)

Okay, so I bought Qix for Game Boy as well as Space Invaders on my latest purchase, which is also another Taito "classic" arcade game*. I picked it up for $3 as well, which was probably too much for this game. I'm playing this game on a Game Boy Advance SP (black), by the way. The first thing I don't like about this game is the colorization. Most of these original Game Boy games that are played on a GB Color or Advance get two or three basic "colors" that take the place of what was the monochrome look on the original Game Boy. Qix gets it all wrong, with a reddish and off-orange color.

The original Qix was a computerized marvel - so the redish/orange and yellowish color really is unnerving. I guess the game would be okay on the original GB, but even then, the shallow game play that will only last potentially less than three minutes. The only thing cool about Qix is it's computer-ish "-tron" sounds. Also included is a link-cable version to probably hide the fact that this game has nothing to offer. There's a reason you haven't heard of this version, and that's because it sucks. Especially when everything is red and yellow.

Final Score: 1 Keex, Kicks, Quix or however you pronounce it out of 4.

* I use quotations, because Qix was pretty low on the scale of classic arcade games.

Space Invaders (Game Boy)

(Pic courtesy of GBDB.com)

Now, here's a game that's been dead and buried for years! Space Invaders, on it's basic level now in 2011, is a very boring arcade shooter that'll be over before you know it. Don't tell that to 1980! On Game Boy, however, this game made in 1994 (licensed for the millionth time by Taito who basically keeps telling the game world: "Hey! We don't have anymore good arcade games, so keep playing Space Invaders!"*) . This game is as basic as it can get - five long rows of invaders creep slowly across and down the screen while your ship is tasked with destroying them all before they reach the bottom and end the game. They do shoot back, however, so the player is provided with four "shields" that act as protection to duck under to avoid enemy fire. They are effective, to a point. Now, with the more aliens destroyed, the remaining aliens gain speed (I'm sure you all know this all by now). If any of them reach the very bottom of the screen, the game ends even if you have lives remaining.

So, how does it look, feel and play on Game Boy? Arcade perfect. Arcade perfect, that is for Game Boy. Space Invaders feels great, looks great and plays amazing, though it is a sparse translation. There's nothing on this cart besides the basic Space Invaders besides an option to play a 'Vs. Game' against another friend via link cable. Bleh**. The only thing this game needs is the original intro screen that reads "Play Space Invaders" and an arcade joystick to make it the perfect experience. As it stands, Space invaders for the Game Boy is a great experience, and if you can get it for the right price (I paid $3 for it - probably too high), you'd normally have hours of fun with it. But since the game only lasts a few minutes at a time, you'll probably only have minutes of fun with it.

Final Score: Three motherships out of four.

* Yes, I know Taito has a few other decent arcade games like Elevator Action and some others, but I always think that they really have been milking Space Invaders forever!

** Hope you didn't ever pay full price for it!

Sports Talk Baseball

Normally, in the dead of winter, I don't ever really think about baseball at all. It happens to so much be that "cabin fever" part of winter, so I threw this one in my Nomad today. If you can find a more enjoyable baseball game for the Genesis, than so help me god show it to me. I think this game is something else, yes I know that it is not graphically stunning in any means, World Series Baseball is a much better choice if you care about graphics. This game has all of the basic options which include exhibition game, all-star game and pennant race and has excellent game play that is not that challenging. It doesn't have all those simulations and stats that a lot of baseball purists want, but I just love playing through entire 162 game seasons. The PA announcer on this game is very funny and actually very accurate. He doesn't get in the way at all, like he does in the Sports Talk football series, and it is fun to mess around with him when there is no one on base. This is a great choice, and for the literally nothing that sports games for Genesis are going for these days, you should pick this one up.

Check out my review from Sega-16: http://www.sega-16.com/review_page.php?id=808&title=Sports%20Talk%20Baseball

Final Score: 9 "Infield In, Infield Out"s out of 10.

The Terminator (Sega CD)

(Pic courtesy of videogamecritic.net)

Wow, what an improvement! And the original game itself for Genesis wasn't even that bad. This is a simple (simple in design, not difficulty) run-n-gun take on a movie. I say take on a film in a Jim Rome style since there is hardly anything in the actual gameplay that is directly taken from the film (I don't think there were twenty people in the TechNoir crowd all dressed the same trying to kill you, but I may be wrong). There are only a few knocks against this game that knock it down from a perfect score, and those are that most of the levels are exactly the same feel and have very similar layouts. For example, most of the game, its "run all the way to the right, kill everything. go up, run all the way to the left, kill everything, go down two levels and so on and so forth". I mean, it is a platforming shooter, but I am just saying that the format and what Virgin Games did with it in this game gets repetitive. The music on this version is of perfect Sega CD quality, and I don't believe there is too much that can be said about that, besides that the music is great for the most part. Another problem with this game (not saying that it is bad), is the controls and the number of hits required to kill an enemy. The controls are a bit irrititating in a few spots such as getting on ladders and the jumping can be kind of spotty. Characters in this game must have kevlar skin, because it takes at least four or five shots to kill even a human! You have to unload with the strongest weapon to kill anyone in a decent speed. Also, there are certain things that will kill you instantly, even if you have the rare invulnerability shield, and those things are Ahhnuld, the smaller HK, and falling in lava. Overall though, this is a good game that will be worth the money and time you will invest in it. I am just not the biggest fan of the format of this game, but I am a huge Terminator fan, so I had to put my two cents in.

Final Score: 8 Human Skulls

Road Rash 64

(pic courtesy of romsworld.narod.ru)

Road Rash 64 is a both a game and a nail. A nail in the coffin for a gaming franchise that lost it's way when 3D came about and EA decided to put consistently less and less effort into their games. One of the biggest problems I have seen with this game is the lack of the sense that you are really going 127 MPH, and another problem is the lack of entertainment. It also always seems the same regardless. I get that it is Road Rash, but can I have something new please? I already played this game. In fact, I have played this game three times before, at least! There is really nothing new in this game compared to previous ones, and it is just fairly boring. It isn't the worst game I have ever played, but this game will end up getting lost in the pile of N64 games that I have in my massive collection. Don't pay too much for this game, as it isn't anything spectacular. Even that is a compliment to this sorry game.

Score: 3